This whole injury thing is so frustrating! I can hardly do anything without setting it off again. I think I have kind of been waiting for something like this to happen, it was too good to last.
There’s a verse in the Bible that says “take heed where you think you stand less you fall” I knew this and I also knew where I stood physically. I was proud of my standing though I always thought I could be much better than I currently was. I mean, I could do 75 push-ups in a minute, I had run a 6 min. mile, and I even had a six pack. I had physical endurance and I loved it! Yet I was also wary that at any moment I might lose it, so many times I have come so close but God spared me, why then? Why now?
I think to have had something major would have been easier to work with, I could have thrown myself into rehabilitation, but all I can do right now is sit and wait. What does God want me to learn? Did I miss it the first time and so I have to have a second go around?
I keep thinking about how we have to be broken for God to use us; Job said, “I was at ease but He hath broken me asunder”. But David says that He keepeth the bones of the righteous, not one of them is broken. I must plead with David that God would “make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice.”
So now I am broken in God’s hands; now His strength can be made manifest because my own is gone. I can’t even carry a goofy panful of stuff in the kitchen without feeling it, talk about helplessness. I pray that I will find what ever it is that He is wanting from me so that He will not have to break me worse.
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